she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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