Where did you get a picture of my penis
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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