if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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