I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
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