Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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