i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
