I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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