The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
