it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
