oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
