So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
