i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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