Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
