You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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