So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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