Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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