He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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