New invention idea: vibrating tampons
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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