this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
