sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
