last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
