Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
