I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
