Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
