Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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