Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
