you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
