I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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