Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
