awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
