You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
