she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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