I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
