He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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