The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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