when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
