His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Watching her eat just hurts me
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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