Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
