Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
