Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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