dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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