If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
