yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
