Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
