I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
don't judge my taste in strippers
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
