you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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