I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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