Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
