I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
