She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
