break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
