If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
