she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
